Hey everyone, I'm joining the Six Sentence Sunday gang for the first time today.
These sentences are from the almost completed WIP- Zane's War. Better known as Zane. In this scene Zane is in the E.R. waiting for word of a fallen brother-in-arms.
Here We Go!
Uncertain what to say, Zane lifted his hand, started to rake it through his hair, but a flash of red stopped him. He froze, focusing. His hand was stained crimson, crusted with Cosky’s blood.
He lifted his right hand—the one still clamped around his cell phone—and stared, the blood a dark blur beneath his burning eyes. His mind flashed back. The breathless grunt as that first bullet hit.. . .Cosky lurching forward. . . the wet thwack, thwack, thwack as round after round struck . . .the twitch of dying muscles. . .the blood. . . so much fucking blood.
You can visit the rest of the brave folks putting their Six Sentences up after 9 AM. Eastern time through here.
Congrats on your first 6. Good descriptions there. :)
ReplyDeleteWelcome to Six Sentence Sunday. Great first post!
ReplyDeleteexcellent first post. the scene is very good. Welcome to "6"
ReplyDeleteWelcome! Thats a great post! I want more!
ReplyDeleteNothing sexier than a man who runs his hand through his hair...yum
ReplyDeleteNice six! Welcome to Six Sunday.
ReplyDeleteVery strong writing!
ReplyDeleteWow. Great 1st post. Powerful imagery. Thwack, thwack, thwack.
ReplyDeleteWhoa, that's intense.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to Six Sentence Sunday!
Wow, that is an intense six! Awesome job!
ReplyDeleteVery nice. Probably not for Zane, though. ;)
ReplyDeleteGulp. Excellent visual. Intense, bloody riddled with bullets shown well.
ReplyDeleteLike how you expressed his shock with such color. Welcome to SSS!
ReplyDeleteLove this. Sucks you right into the moment.
ReplyDeleteWonderful descriptions! Welcome to Six Sunday!
ReplyDeleteVery emotional and vivid. Thanks for sharing and welcome.
ReplyDeleteWow, that was very vivid and I swear I could see the blood on my own hands. Out, out damn spot! From one newbie to another, welcome to SSS!
ReplyDeleteWow, powerful stuff! Great job!
ReplyDeleteI agree, very powerful. Really makes you feel for the guy. Great six.
ReplyDeleteWow! That's a great six sentences! Paints a vivid picture.
ReplyDeleteWow. So much tension and emotion packed in there. Great stuff. Definitely want to see more!
ReplyDeleteLove the description in this! A great excerpt :)
ReplyDeleteWow. Very vivid. Great six!
ReplyDeleteNicely done and welcome to sss
ReplyDeletewelcome to SSS what a great six...sweet impact with such few words. Nice work on the details, the bloody details!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post. Lots packed into those sentences!
ReplyDeleteDynamite! I heard the thwack of bullets. Love sound effects. Very powerful.
ReplyDeleteWow,
ReplyDeleteThanks to everyone for reading. What fantastic support you guys have for Six Sentence Sunday!
Lot of fun, plan to be back next Sunday!
Love the intensity! Great first post and welcome to SSS! Will be looking for more...
ReplyDeletePowerful. Draws you right into the action.
ReplyDeleteVery sensual! More than just words on a page, there's impact (in more ways than one)! Keep going!! Are you going to post more of this?
ReplyDeleteHi McKenna,
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and checking out my six. I am going to post again next Sunday, although I haven't decided yet exactly what I'll be putting up. Only thing I'm certain of, is that it will be from Zane.
Hey Trish. Nice six. Oh, and I love the background colours of your site
ReplyDeleteGreat first post. So much emotion in so few words.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the party girl, so glad you could join us! Loved the 6 and I look forward to hearing more from Zane. BTW congrats on finishing the manuscript! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Layna, the party's been a ton of fun so far, looking forward to next week!
ReplyDelete