Switching things up a bit today and posting six lines from a secondary character's POV. The background here is that this character's family has been kidnapped and abused in order to force the character to do something for the kidnappers. This snippet takes place immediately after he receives news his family has been rescued. There's actually more than six sentence. But I figured the fact so many are one word sentences makes up for that. lol
The first inhalation burned his throat, but the second came easier. By the third, feeling had crept into his chest—his heart.
Although the emotion wasn’t one he’d expected. He’d expected joy, relief, thankfulness. Instead, shame spread through him. It burst from his heart and spread out in ripples.
He’d failed them. Everyone.
Amy. The boys. The agency. All the passengers on that fucked up flight.
He’d failed every last one of them.
As always you can find the rest of the SSS participants here.
That is a powerful mini-scene. You do emotions so well.
ReplyDeleteA great portrayal of emotions! The short sentences are very effective.
ReplyDeleteGreat emotion in this six. xx
ReplyDeleteVery powerful.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone. Very powerful! Great sentence.
ReplyDeleteVery powerful six. Awesome six.
ReplyDeleteaww, such anger and regret. Really powerful snippet xx
ReplyDeleteOh no! That is heart-wrenching. What a great snippet!
ReplyDeletepowerful emotions. very nice snippet
ReplyDeleteOh, the poor dude! I feel badly for him!
ReplyDeletePowerful. Great emotion.
ReplyDeleteGreat emotions!
ReplyDeleteNicely done and memorable.
ReplyDeletegreat excerpt.
ReplyDeleteDid they all die? Because that would be sad, but I thought you said it was just after his family is rescued. Is he just mad at himself because he wasn't the one to rescue them? Because that's just silly male behavior.
ReplyDeleteGood job at making me think.
Shame and remorse. No jubilation. Interesting.
ReplyDeleteVery raw and intense.
ReplyDelete